Saturday, January 19, 2013

Check Out This Junk: Hasbro Iron Man 3 Assemblers


I'm starting a new segment here on One Per Case.  It's called "Check Out This Junk".  In other words, it's an excuse for me to rant about how crappy some toys are getting.  And today's subject is the recently revealed Iron Man 3 "Assemblers" figures from Hasbro.  WTF.  I'm totally going to start referring to them as the "ass figures" for short.



So, Hasbro sent out a press release yesterday with high-res photos of the ass figures that were first officially announced in USA Today on Friday.  The high-res shots let us see in even greater detail how lame these figures look.  It's like Hasbro is now trying to compete with Mattel for who can make the worst 3&3/4" super hero figures.  These actually look like Happy Meal toys.  We thought last year's backwards step in articulation with the Avengers figures was bad, but this move takes us a whole 30 years back.  To when action figures only had five points of articulation.  Whiskey.  Tango.  Foxtrot.  5 POA.  Are you freaking kidding me?



So, obviously these weren't designed for adult collectors.  These are kids toys.  Though honestly, I don't even think many kids will be interested in these (my 11 year old daughter, who loves all the Avengers figures I gave her last year, said these look terrible).  So what's the big deal?


The big deal is, this just highlights a growing problem from Hasbro over the past couple years:  An overall huge decline in the quality of the product and what you the consumer get for your dollar.  These things will cost you $9.99.  Yup, that's right, the same price (or higher) than we were paying for far superior figures in the Iron Man 2 line just a couple short years ago.


No less important, this also basically confirms the fact that the folks now in charge of 3.75" Marvel figures at Hasbro (the same folks in charge of Legends, who have made it very obvious in the past that they have no love for the 3.75" scale), after the unfortunate letting-go of David Vonner, have zero interest in catering to the adult collector market with figures in this scale.  This, after the up-and-down roller coaster of scale for the collectors figures in Hasbro's Marvel lines since they acquired ToyBiz several years ago and canned Legends, launched Universe, and then revived Legends, with Universe apparently now preparing to die a slow death.  What's a Marvel figure collector to do?  It's like our collections have schitzophrenia.  We can't just stick to one scale, or one standard for design quality.  And it's all pretty sad if you ask me.  I've enjoyed collecting quality Marvel figures in the 3.75" scale for the past 4 years.  It now seems that that time has come to an end.


The Iron Man 2 line is one of my favorite action figure lines of all time.  Despite the over-abundance of initial waves making it near impossible to find later waves at retail, that line nailed almost everything else.  The designs were great, the articulation was great, the pack-ins and accessories were great, I had very few complaints with that line.  I was really hoping that the Iron Man 3 line would pick up where IM2 left off, with figures of the new characters and armors that would fit right in with the previous releases.  Unfortunately, it doesn't look like this will be the case.


But why don't I just collect the six-inch figures?  I'd love to, and I do for the most part, but that line has very little character selection to choose from.  I'm still waiting for a ScarJo Widow.  Or any villains other than Loki.  And then there's the desire for consistent scale again.  I want my movie Avengers to be able to hang out next to comic versions of characters, or GI Joes, or other 3.75" figures.  I like having one big 3.75" universe.  But I don't like crap, and I won't pay for it.


New York Toy Fair is in less than a month, right after these figures are due to hit retail.  Maybe Hasbro will surprise me and have good looking non-ass figures to show for Iron Man 3 there.  But I've learned lately to not put much hope in Hasbro, so I'm not getting my hopes up for that.  Instead, it looks like I'll be spending a lot less money on Hasbro's products this year.  If they don't want my money, I'm sure I can find a company with a better product, designed for me, the adult collector, that does.

Here's Hasbro's press release for these things.  Don't expect me to review them when they're released next month.  I won't waste my money or time.  Consider that my review.

MARVEL IRON MAN 3 IRON ASSEMBLERS 3.75-INCH Action Figure Assortment

(Approximate Retail Price: $9.99; Ages: 4 & up; Available: Spring 2013)
In 2013, kids and fans can recreate the excitement of the IRON MAN 3 film with the buildable ASSEMBLERS action figure line. Each figure features an Interchangeable Armor System, allowing one figure to create more than 25 armor combinations and allowing armor to be switched out between the 16 available figures in the line to create 100’s more combinations. Each figure sold separately.

27 comments:

  1. I am dissappoint.
    This stings. IM2 was what got me convinced I should go for 3,3/4 Marvel figures after a good few years of enjoying the 6 inch scale. I loved that line (and I'm still buying new figures from it thanks to TRU overstock) but I can safely say I will be buying no IM3 figures this year.
    Unless they surprise us with Universe quality figures in a separate line, which I think will just not happen.
    Here in the UK we have a catalogue ordering based store called Argos, in their new catalog, the only 3,3/4 figures listed are these ASSemblers.
    Sad times.

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  2. These are trash. Can we please find out who is in charge of the 3.5" line and let hasbro know we wont them out! I mean seriously letsget this done!

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    1. According to last year's SDCC Hasbro Marvel panel description, these are the folks in charge of the line: Adam Biehl (senior director, global Marvel line at Hasbro), Jesse Falcon (licensing director, Marvel), Dwight Stall (senior Marvel product design manager, Hasbro) and Kristin Hamilton (senior manager, global Marvel line at Hasbro).

      Falcon has been over the Legends line for years, and has made it very clear on multiple occasions that he does not like 3&3/4" figures.

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    2. I found his facebook page. Maybe if we voice our displeasure on his page as well as hasbros Facebook page with a petition we'll some results. I love 3.5 figures and I had such high hopes especially after Gi Joe POC as well as Marvel Universe and Iron man II. I think hasbros share holders might like to know they have someone purposely trying to ruin the 3.5 figure lines and wasting their money because he doesn't care for that scale. •~•

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    3. Good luck getting a response out of them. I've expressed my displeasure with them on Twitter a few times. They of course don't respond. Hasbro has gone out of their way to NOT talk to fans the past couple years.

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    4. duh, thats why its sucking so much, and some old designers are gone also

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  3. So they think that under-articulated, bad sculpted and almost unpainted pieces of junk with swappable arms are the idea of the century, uh?

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  4. I know you guys may not trust me since I have no account, but I just found out today (on toywiz.com) that aside from the "ASS-M-B.S." line there will be 2 more 3.75 inch lines, "Iron Man 3 series 1 Action Figure..." which costs about the same as a MU figure, and "Iron Man 3 Arc Strike Series" Which sounds gimmicky, but are different lines regardless. If you want to see just go toywiz, click on all brands, then I-J, Iron Man, then go to Iron Man 3 toys, and scroll down a bit. I hope this helps and thank god we don't have to deal with Iron "ASS-M-B.S."

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    1. The Arc Strike figures are usually the 12" size, and judging by the price on ToyWiz, that's what'd I'd continue to expect these to be. The "normal" 3.75" line we learned about when these went up for pre-order at BBTS last week, but judging by the very low price ($5-6 per figure), and the the cheesy names (Cold Snap Iron Man, Ghost Armor Iron Man, etc), it's a safe bet these won't be anything collectors are interested in either. I see no other 3.75" line listed anywhere. But like I said, I hope Hasbro surprises us at Toy Fair next month. I'm just not counting on it.

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  5. ur totally right these are shit lol, i dont even wanna see those in the retails,but about hasbro, they are having good designers for the transformers beast hnters series, its going quite good, but in the marvel figures, they suck so bad jesus

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  6. I mean...look at those "alternate" arms. they just look like someone made way too many arms and were like "Oh shit!.....well...meh, just throw them in with the figure.."

    Yikes.

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  7. Yeah your probably right. Although if you are willing to customize a few WM'S, MK7'S and comic Mandairin (I'm using a Volstagg head) then there's no need for a line anyways.

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  8. Well, my wife will be happy that I won't be spending money on these.

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  9. I just look at what they've shown for the Ironman 3 figures... and shake my head.

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  10. It's like getting Rick Rolled........... For eternity...... in a clockwork orange viewing helmet....

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  11. What you could do to save sculpting the torsos and heads on the customs is to buy the figures of IM and Iron Patriot (when they go on clearance, so you feel better for buying junk) and put arms and legs from other figures on them. That way you would get the knee and elbow joints and get a closer looking torso sculpt then you would get by custom work. amiright?

    And @Anonymous a few up from this, I like the idea of a Volstagg head for Mandarin!! :D

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  12. Thanks Trekking95! And I actually was just thinking of the same thing for the ASSemblers, but I might actually repaint a MK7 for MK8/MK42 or whatever it's called.

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    1. Yeah that would work, as Mk7 looks like the new armor. But what about WM "Iron Patriot"? IM2 WM looks almost nothing like that, and I cant think of a figure that does. Thoughts?

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    2. Not sure... BTW I'm Nic, to avoid confusion.

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    3. I'd probably go with your original Idea and also use IM2 WAR Machine arms and legs and some tamiya paints

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  13. Well fortunately according to this http://screencrush.com/2013-toy-fair-pics-star-wars-iron-man-3-thor-2/ there will be other offerings.
    Still a dumb idea though

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  14. Hey I didnt say that!

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  15. LAS FIGURAS HUBIERAN SIDO EXCELENTES Y EL PASO DE IRONMAN 2 A 3, SI FUERAN INTERCAMBIABLES PERO ARTICULADAS, HABRIA COMPRADO HASTA 2 DE CADA UNA, Q MAL HASBRO, EN VEZ DE EVOLUCIONAR EN RETROCESO

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  16. My 4 year old just looked at the mark 42 and said, "daddy, this doesn't have much ticulation..."

    Well, he is my boy :) and he's so right... It like its 1980...

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  17. Not trying to defend Hasbro because I feel that this line should not have been made due to the glut of Iron Man figures already at retail. But this line had to be built to fail. Hell, you can still find a 3/4 of the Iron Man 2 figures at places like Five Below and TJ Maxx. The only ones I haven't been able to find are the Comic Series, heh. Their mistake wasn't putting out bad Iron Man figures, it was putting out too many Iron Man figures.

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  18. These action figures are no use for the kids, or even collectors, WHY HASBRO, WHY!!!

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